Managing Stress
A caregiving relationship is, by nature, stressful. After years of independence, the person being cared for is adapting to a new role. They may be adjusting to new surroundings. And they're dealing with physical and psychological changes that can be quite frustrating.
For the caregiver, an already busy schedule has become even busier. There may be changes to your home and the way your family lives. And you may be facing the declining health of a person you love.
Everyone involved will be dealing with a range of emotions, sometimes frustrating and exhausting. Even though you can't do everything, you have to feel good about doing the best you can - that's a tremendous gift.
A Thriving Environment
It can be very hard for an older person to accept that, due to changes in their health, they can no longer fully care for themselves. So work with the person you're caring for to determine just how much they can do on their own, and support them.
If you mark the stove knobs with colored tape, will Mom be able to make her own tea? Can Grandpa take his own medications, if you arrange them in a daily pill organizer? Use your imagination, and you'll come up with ways to help the person you're caring for feel less dependent on you. Sure, it may require some changes, and it may take longer than if you were to do it yourself, but the emotional benefits are worth it.
• Other ways to make a care-receiver feel involved and independent...
• Initiate conversation. Even when you feel like there's nothing to talk about, comment on what's outside the window or what's in the news today. Talking helps keep people sharp and socially involved.
• Make the house more "fall proof." Falls can be emotionally devastating, making a person feel helpless and afraid. In addition to having their vision and hearing checked regularly, you can help the person you're caring for by removing hazards from walkways; using non-slip rugs; keeping a phone, lamp, and flashlight next to their bed; making sure the house is well lit; and, if necessary, marking the edges of stairs with colored or reflective tape.
• Create a safer bathroom by using a rubber non-skid mat in the shower, or using a shower chair. In addition, make sure all towel bars are tightly secured, and consider a raised toilet seat, if the person has trouble getting up from chairs.
• Encourage your loved one to stay involved in church or community groups, follow through on things that interest them, and stay active. Walking, gardening, or other types of exercise are great for keeping a person's mind and body at their best.
Time for Yourself
Being a caregiver is a high-pressure job. One way to feel good about it is to think of it as your choice. Maybe you didn't choose to have a loved one with diabetes - or a loved one who required your care - but you choose to be a caregiver. Knowing that this is something you decided to take on can make you feel more in control.
• Don't try to be perfect. You'll never make it, and you'll spend your whole life focusing on what you didn't do. Instead, think about your generosity, and how you've made a warm, safe home for another person. That's something to be proud of.
• Get involved with a caregiver support group - either specific to diabetes caregivers or a general group. So many people have already faced the challenges you're dealing with, and they'll have great advice for you, as well as a sympathetic ear.
• Accept help from any source. Look into community resources for adult day care or respite care, which can give you some much-needed time off. Let friends, family, and neighbors pitch in. They don't have to help with needs specifically related to the person you're caring for. If they can save you a trip to the grocery store or mow the lawn, that's valuable, too.
• Set time aside for yourself. Everything can't be about the other person. You still need and deserve time to pursue your own interests and goals. Caregiving doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold.
• Take a close look at yourself. If you're losing sleep, showing signs of depression, feeling angry all the time, or neglecting your responsibilities, then the caregiving relationship isn't working. Don't feel guilty. Just make some necessary changes or consider another solution.